About Me

My name is Kate.
I live in Oregon with my husband and a plethora of animals.
I am a Zumba Instructor and I love to dance.
I got married on October 20, 2013.
I'm a mommy to a precious little daughter.

Oh, and I have an eating disorder.

When I was 14, I started to worry a lot about body image.  I was doing lots of dance, which, let's face it, is not always conducive to healthy body image.  I started skipping meals.  But when a girl in my dance class was sent away to treatment for her anorexia, I realized I had better be careful and not let anyone know what was going on.

Throughout the rest of high school, I hated on my body intensely.  When I read back through old diaries, I find many offhanded comments about needing to lose weight, being fat, being disgusting, etc.  When I was 19, I started eating less and exercising more.  I had a goal weight.  Right as I reached it, I got a stomach flu.  I couldn't eat for three days.  I dropped two pounds below my goal weight and the rest is history.

In September of 2007 I was admitted to Legacy Emanuel hospital with a BMI of 15.8.  My electrolytes got all out of whack and I almost died from low phosphorus levels (0.9 for those of you in the know on such things.)  Doctors told my parents and me that I most likely wouldn't be leaving the hospital alive.  My heart was giving out, my other organs were on the brink of failure.  I was 20 years old.

Somehow, with the help of doctors and nurses and K-Phos supplements, I managed to get my phosphorus up out of the "death imminent" category.  I was discharged from the hospital on September 23, 2007.  On October 1st, I started intensive outpatient treatment at a program which ultimately fucked me over (possibly forever.)  They put 40 pounds on me in 12 weeks time.

After being discharged from IOP on December 21, 2007, I became even sicker than before.  Except this time I had a body I couldn't stand!  Those were very, very dark days.  Since then, it's been a constant, exhausting battle.  Between then and now I have worked at a few jobs, met a guy, dated, got engaged and got married.  In November 2014 we welcomed our first child -  a girl.  Now I'm trying to navigate life with an eating disorder and without a map!

This blog is intended to be honest, real, raw and open.  It is about surviving life with chronic anorexia.  The ups and downs of everything.  It's also about other topics (such as airplanes, ghosts, friends and current events.)