There is a bridge here in Portland called the Vista Bridge. It's named that for 2 reasons. One, it's on Vista Ln. Two, it has a great view. Like, really great. I believe part of the opening of Portlandia was shot from it. (Portlandia, by the way, is the name of a statue in downtown Portland as well as the name of the show. Which I have never seen.)
The Vista bridge also has a reputation. A bad reputation. People are always jumping off of it! I guess I can understand why they'd pick that bridge. It goes over a road, as opposed to water, so you're pretty much guaranteed a killshot there. If the fall doesn't kill you (which it would), a car tearing around the eastbound curve immediately preceding the bridge will finish the job. Also, if you're going to go, the view off the Vista is a pretty great image to have as your last one.
But the downside is that it falls on a road, not water. Which means that there are almost always witnesses. And today (January 22), one of those witnesses was me.
Lucky me!
I have to say it was one of the singularly most shocking things I've ever witnessed in my life. The road was covered in blood and human organs. I drove over one. It couldn't be helped! The person was all over the place. As my friend would say, "Everything was everywhere!"
It makes me so irritated to think about it too. Taking your own life is an intensely selfish action, in my opinion. No matter how you do it. You're ignoring the fact that your action (suicide) is going to hurt other people. Unless you never knew anyone but your parents and they're now dead, there are going to be people in your life who know, love and care about you and they are going to be devastated. But when you do it in a place like the Vista Bridge, you are scarring an unknown number of people in addition to your loved ones.
The woman who jumped off the Vista Bridge had no way of knowing how many motorists would pass in the time it took for her to jump, die, be seen, declared dead, covered and carted away. Police blocked the road fairly quickly but it didn't shield everyone from the horrific nightmare Jefferson Street had suddenly become. It makes me angry that this woman didn't think of these things.
The Vista is Portland's "suicide bridge," our version of San Francisco's Golden Gate. There is a suicide counseling sign posted on the Vista, but that doesn't seem to deter people much. There are also those signs posted on bridges that cross the river, but for some reason people seem to prefer the Vista. In fact, it occurs so often that the people who work in the businesses on Jefferson are actually expecting to hear the thud/smack combination, indicative of a human hitting the pavement at tremendous velocity. "Oh no," they say, picking up the phone to call the police. "Not again."
The saddest thing about this, for me, was that about 30 minutes after this woman's life ended at around a quarter past twelve yesterday, the clouds broke, the fog burned off and the sun came out. It was a beautiful day. Maybe, just maybe, if she had waited a half hour, the world wouldn't have looked so bleak and hopeless. Maybe she would have changed her mind.
Link to article about the event: http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2013/01/woman_dies_in_leap_from_vista.html
no copyright intended on the pics. they're not mine.
Note: this entry was written over the span of 2 days. Sorry for any date discrepancies. The woman jumped January 22, 2013.
I am so sorry you had to witness this today; that sounds totally traumatizing and awful! F'ing hell. You have an admirable perspective on it, though, in that last paragraph, and you are a great writer! I love your blog and your youtube vlogs. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI saw the story about this bridge on the news and was horrified--to have seen it must be the most traumatizing and morbid event to ever happen to a person. I am so sorry you saw that. There are no words to describe. Just awful. It does make you wonder if she could've just waited 30 more minutes...tragic for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI was a close friend of the young woman that took her life that day, and I have to point out the fact that your perspective on what happened that day is full of overly romanticized and dramatized bull. I know for a fact that your claim that there were organs everywhere is completely fabricated, let alone the fact you claim to have ran one of them over.
ReplyDeleteAlso that the sun happen to have come out 30 minutes after it happened. Complete lie, I remember that day quite clearly(go figure), and where I was (no more then 10 blocks away) it was complete sunshine before and after it happened.
I don't know how you dare shame her for seeking peace, as you have no clue what sort of things she has been through in her lifetime. The fact is... You don't know jack squat about the events that happened on January 22nd at vista bridge, cause really, if you were so scarred by this event (and not just seeking attention for witnessing it)
You would have actually remembered the real events that happened that day, not fabricated a self-glorifying account of a suicide you happened to witness..
you should read the 2nd and 3rd post re: the bridge. You might change what you said at the end. But actually, I was there. The road was a mess. She had on black gloves. It was cloudy when I exited 26. It was sunny after. It was very sad, and I'm very sorry for your loss.
DeleteWhere are the posts you are wanting Chance C to read? re: the bridge (post 2nd and 3rd)
ReplyDeleteI would never go in the direction of the bridge if it had that stigma. The things we do for ourselves to avoid problems in life can help us in many more ways than we can ever know. Spending a dollar more on gas to avoid that particular road could have saved you a lifetime of grief. I suffer from PTSD from witnessing a fatal stabbing. Unfortunately, no one saw it coming and it was unavoidable that I witnessed the act, but you can avoid witnessing another suicide and could have avoided witnessing this one. I hope you have no ill affects from witnessing what you saw. And I hope Portland does something about that bridge so it cannot be jumped from. Take care from Texas.
The next one is "reevaluation" and the third one is "the vista (almost) strikes again" Well... I vaguely knew about the reputation of this bridge. I had heard it before but I'd traveled beneath that bridge so often and never seen anything.... so it was kind of like an abstract idea to me until this day.
ReplyDeleteOur egos love drama. The ego cannot exist in this very present moment, so "it" pulls us into the past or the future, whether 5 seconds ago or 5 yrs ago, does not matter. It has to keep us out of presence because it wants to exist & preys on all the events we experience by its judgment of, resistance to & attachment to our thoughts & beliefs about the event. It will fight for the right to stay in that pain, anger, self righteousness, fear. All of our depressions, anxieties, PTSDs, insanities come from this one illusion: that we are separate from each other & we identify with the ego's voice; the thoughts in our head.
ReplyDeleteShe had just listened to her thoughts & identified with them for so long that she believed her only way out was to shut the voices up forever. She did not realize that all she had to do was to disidentify from her thinking & be the awareness behind the thoughts to experience relief.
You too, can do this regarding being a witness. Disidentify from all your judgments about her, your resistance to what happened - because it did happen & your attachment to how it SHOULD have been. Move from that place into being a part of the solution, whether through kindness to yourself & others, staying out of the need (the ego's need) to judge & criticize, so that your peace is reflected into the world as real change.
Be Love,
~Carin'
i agree, it is selfish, like what if you have pets? they'll definitly miss you. and it's scary to think of the fact that if i ever wanna kill myself, vista bridge is like 10 minutes away from my house
ReplyDelete