Snow White

***Note: I started this post 2 days ago but never got to finish.  Now it's going to be a random, stream-of-consciousness post.  Lol.  Welcome to my brain.***

I love Snow White.  She is my favorite Disney Princess.  I'm not sure why... maybe it's because she is markedly different than all the (original) Disney Princesses in that she has short hair.  All the other ones had long hair.  Pocahontas (who wasn't exactly a Princess) and Jasmine had dark hair like Snow White, but they also would have naturally had dark hair if they were real people.  Snow White has super pale skin and jet black hair.  She is stunning!

When I was 19, I had my hair cut about chin length and dyed it black.  I didn't intend to look like Snow White but I did.  I'm pretty pale, but having black hair made me really pale!  That was also when I was at my lowest weight ever.  I remember I had this Snow White hoodie... it was white with Snow White on the back and the words "Snow White" written in all cursive on the front.  Man I loved that thing!  I wore it all the time.  I got it from Hot Topic.  Around the same time I had this shirt from Journey's that said "You Sank My Battleship" which I thought was hilarious.  I also had a shirt with Scarface on it, that I got in Hawaii in December 2006.  Loved that shirt too.

I was a late bloomer for sure!!! I look back at pics of myself in High school now and I look away shuddering.  Did I really think those clothes and hairstyles were okay?  Oh my god... what was I thinking?? Lol!!!!! It's so horrible.  Embarrassing really.  Recently, a friend of mine tagged me in a picture from my junior year.  It was so horrifying.  Traumatizing.  Honestly I can't even tell you.  I was wearing this hideous red hoodie thing.. I don't even remember having that! And my hair... oh man.  And I was fat.  So gross.  ENOUGH about this topic LOL!!!!! 

I am going to pick up the kid I nanny for in an hour.  I should probably leave in like 30-35 min.  I am such a pig... ew.  I am disgusting.  I can literally FEEL my fat hanging over my pants.  It's horrible!!!! I just want it to go away.

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my cousin Hillary's death.  (She's dead... so I guess I can say her name.)  She died on 12/12/12.  She was 33 I think.  She didn't always have the easiest time... but you don't supposed God would keep her out of Heaven do you?  I mean... surely God must know that Hillary did the best she could.  

I believe in old souls and young souls.  I guess that means I believe in reincarnation... although I hate to say that because it makes me sound crazy (to my ears).  It's weird... I have this faith and these beliefs that I feel as though I should have growing up in the household I did.  But I believe them and I can't help it.  Like a steadfast belief in God.  Why?  I don't know.  My parents don't talk about God.  They don't even believe in God (at least my dad doesn't.)  But I do!!! Even when I try to tell myself "there's no such thing as God," I know I am lying when I say those words to myself.  I try to be "mad at God" and not believe.. but it does not work.  I also believe in Heaven.  But then I believe in old souls and reincarnation too apparently... and those don't match up well.  But I can't help it.  Weird.

On Sunday, my friend and I went to our friend S's Zumba class.  We came in about 10 min late and we hadn't been in there more than 20 seconds and I said, "Something is wrong.  Something is wrong with S!  She doesn't feel right."  The energy was off.  I can't tell you what it was.  She looked normal, she was smiling and whooping like she normally does in class.  But something felt wrong.  I noticed it right away and told Alena.  After class, we talked to S.  It turned out she was coming down with a cold (that is now bronchitis, poor thing) and her heel was really hurting.  She said to me, "you're so intuitive."  I was blown away.  Most people, when faced with a comment from me about energy being off or whatever, are like "oh... that's.... nice."  Or something.  But not S!  She was just ready to accept it and tell me that I was intuitive.  It was so nice to be validated.

My insurance company is being stupid.  They are dropping me down to 1x/week with my therapist at the beginning of January.  I am just going to drop it altogether after that.  I don't have a solid enough foundation to make 1x/week work.  I'll just end up lying to her and I don't want to do that, so I'd rather just quit while I'm ahead, if you know what I mean.

Okay... well, THIS is the longest, randomest, boringest blog entry known to mankind LOL! Thank you to anyone who actually took the time to read this ridiculousness.  I hope to have a picture dump up soon and some wedding photos (whenever I have a second.)  Maybe I'll put up pics of the gingerbread houses the kid and I are making tonight :D  

Happy Thursday!!! xoxoxo