Manny The Frenchie

Spontaneity is not always my strong suit.  I like to plan.  I like to know ahead of time when something is going to happen.  But sometimes the opportunity presents itself, I just can't resist......

Manny the Frenchie is a French bulldog from Chicago.  (Look him up! He's adorable!  Click HERE to go to Manny's website.)  He's a philanthropist, which is to say his "parents" are.  He has 3 adorable Frenchie brothers, Frank, Filip and Liam, and a cute Bull-Boxer sister named Leila.  Manny travels around the United States, doing fundraisers for various organizations.  The public can buy tickets to go and meet him, take pictures with him and participate in the fundraiser's activities.  If you're lucky, you might get featured on his website, Facebook or instagram! 

Yesterday, around noon, I had just gotten Mara down for a nap and taken a shower and I was relaxing on the couch, looking at Facebook on my phone.... and I saw that Manny was in Portland.  For a "PAW-ty" to benefit Pacific Northwest Bulldog Rescue.  From 1:00 to 3:00pm.  And there were tickets available.

They were $25 each.
Mara was asleep still.
I had chores to do.
It would be crowded. 
I was tired.
I had plans for my mom to come over.

I bought 2 tickets.

I mean, really.  Manny the Frenchie was HERE and I was coming up with excuses not to go...?  Seriously Kate???

I called my mom.

"Hey mom... um, so I bought us these tickets....."  Fortunately, she was up for it.

When we got there, it was bulldog central!!!  Both English and French.  I also saw some pugs, a Boston terrier and a chihuahua.  Some of the dogs were wearing clothes.  We went in and it was pretty crowded.  We each got a tag with our name and a number.  In the back there was a little room with a gate for a door, and inside it I could see Manny's "parents."  You had to wait and they'd call your number.  When we got there, they were on like number 21 or something.  We were 60 and 61!  Thankfully, Mara was well-behaved.  We walked around and played with some dogs while we waited.

Finally, after about an hour, it was our turn.  We went into the little room.  Manny the Frenchie is SMALL!  He's not any bigger than Abigail!  If Jax was there, he would have towered over Manny!  I decided not to bring Abby and Jax because.. well.. managing a baby and 2 Frenchies was more than I cared to take on.

Manny's "dad", Jon, gave me a little treat to give Manny, but he was taking his sweet time drinking from a water bowl.

"Anytime now, Manny," said Amber, his "mom" after a minute.

We made small talk with Manny's "parents" while he drank... and drank and drank!  Finally he decided to come over and see if anyone had a treat for him.  I fed him the treat and then Jon picked him up and put him on my lap.

"I can't believe I'm holding you!" I said to Manny as Amber took our picture with my mom's phone.  

Manny panted and smiled.  He left white hair all over me.  He's so cute!!!  After several pictures, we thanked them and left.

Funny how a little dog, no more than 25 pounds, can grab so much attention, bring people together and honestly change the world.  

Picture Parade

I participated in the Color Run 5k on Sept 12.  It was fun! 

Mara had her first haircut!  Her bangs were literally in her eyes.  She looks like such a big kid!

Mombie status.  "Coffeeeeeee...." 

These next few pics are of what happens when you tell Mara to say cheese...

(Yes that last one is different.  I said "say cheese!" And she yawned lol.)

Mara received some hand-me-down shoes.  How cute is she?? Her little belly... Love her!

Making a mess.. as usual.

8 year anniversary of my admittance to the hospital... 8 year anniversary of my second chance at LIFE!!!

Lol Jax... butt-wrinkles for days!

Mara playing with Cleo at daddy's work.

Been Good

I think the #1 thing I struggle with in terms of my eating disorder is ambivalence.

Do I want to recover?

Do I want to stay sick?

The answer is: yes.  To both.  That's ambivalence for you.

But today I realized that, in terms of the "yes I want recovery" part of that, having a baby has been the very best thing for me.  Not only did finding out I was pregnant snap me instantly out of my bad habits, but having a child has caused me to make more permanent lifestyle changes in order to avoid accidentally passing on my bad habits to her.

Is that recovery?  No, not in and of itself.  But it's part of recovery.  I'm not sure I really like that.  Actually, I'm not sure how I feel about it!

But take exercise for example... before I had Mara, I didn't really have to answer to anyone during the day.  I could pretty much come and go as I pleased.  Obviously I had commitments like work and school and appointments and stuff, but during Corky's working hours there wasn't anyone at home keeping me there.

Now here is this little person, 1/4 of my size, and she has complete control over my down-time.  If she decides I don't get any "me time," then I don't get any "me time."  If she's hungry, I feed her.  If she's lonely, I cuddle her.  If she's scared, I comfort her.  If she's happy, I play with her.  If she's bored, we go to Gymboree.  She's my little buddy and we do everything together.  She "talks" to me.  I have no idea what she's saying, but I answer her!  I'm sure our conversations are about completely different topics but we enjoy each other's company (most of the time.)

If she doesn't allow me to have time to work out (aside from my job), then I don't.  And, for the most part, I'm okay with that.  Pretty crazy.

Am I recovered?  No.
Am I recoverING?  Maybe.
Do I want to recover?  Yes and no.

I'm totally ambivalent.  I don't know how to live without this problem.  But I'm going to have to figure it out!

Wavering

I'm soooooooo close to my goal of breastfeeding Mara for 1 year.. but I'm wavering!  I am just SO OVER the being hungry thing.  Each time I feel this way it gets harder and harder to keep my resolve and keep going.  It gets harder and harder to brush it off.  I feel so selfish but I can't help how I feel.  

Mara is doing great, by the way.  She's going to be walking in a matter of months I think.  She pulls herself up on EVERYTHING!  She eats solid food like crazy!  For breakfast just now she had an 8 ounce bottle of milk plus an entire piece of buttered toast... and she's still hungry. Lol!  Funny girl.

September!!!

YAY!!!! SEPTEMBER!!!!!

This mean fall is coming!  Fall is my favorite season and has been forever.

Feeling rather light on words tonight, just wanted to make an entry for the first of September.  Yay!!!

I cannot believe that my daughter is on her way to being 10 months old.  Last night I went and met up with a bunch of friends, one of whom brought her 7 week old baby and HOLY SMOKES that baby is tiny!  I'm not sure Mara was EVER that small!!!  

Mara is asleep now.... I miss her :(  I wish she was awake so I could nurse her.