Thursday, June 27, 2013
SHAME ON YOU!!!!!
Just saw this picture on a commonly used "health" website. I'm not going to say the site name just because... but seriously... why does this picture even exist? You know what I'd bet? I would bet that it was made by someone with an eating disorder for themselves! I know that if I had made this (because, frankly, this is totally something I say to myself all the time) I would be absolutely downright HORRIFIED that it had been placed somewhere on the web for other people to see and internalize. Shame on you, shame on you, SHAME ON YOU!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
2.3 Hours
"60... rotate!"
Today I flew my buddy Al (N20488) for eight-tenths of an hour, bringing me to 2.3 hours completed toward my Private Pilot license. We did a bit of ground school stuff, an extensive pre-flight, a take off, some turns, ascents, descents (some intentional, some not) and then the instructor landed us rapidly because a rain storm was zooming toward us. Corky rode backseat. Al handled like a champ!
I'm working so hard to overcome my anxiety in the air. I'm so quick to say, "I can't!" Fortunately, my flight instructor is just as quick to say, "Yes you can! You're okay. You're doing great!" Slowly I am learning that the airplane is meant to fly, not to fall! Which I knew already but somehow it's different when I'm the one holding the controls, when it's me keeping us at 3,000 feet!
Now... I understand that some people find the idea of me flying a plane a little shocking. I don't look like someone you'd expect to hop out of the pilot's seat of a plane (no matter how small the plane is!) But... I can do it! And my flight instructor says that women make fabulous pilots. :D hee!
Yesterday (Saturday) I went to another Jam Session with C.B. from Curaçao. What the ZIN Jammers do is once you confirm that you're going to the Jam, they add you on facebook so that they can kind of recognize your face when they see you. During the Jam, C.B said to me, "what's your name?" I said, "Kate." She said, "Kate! You're the pilot! And you have tattoos!" I WAS ELATED!!!!! Of course she didn't recognize my face.. my profile picture is me from behind, flying Al last week! I was wearing a racerback tank and you can see my tattoos. C.B. also said, "and you're trying to quit sugar! How's that going for you?" LOL!!!! She is so funny.
Today I flew my buddy Al (N20488) for eight-tenths of an hour, bringing me to 2.3 hours completed toward my Private Pilot license. We did a bit of ground school stuff, an extensive pre-flight, a take off, some turns, ascents, descents (some intentional, some not) and then the instructor landed us rapidly because a rain storm was zooming toward us. Corky rode backseat. Al handled like a champ!
I'm working so hard to overcome my anxiety in the air. I'm so quick to say, "I can't!" Fortunately, my flight instructor is just as quick to say, "Yes you can! You're okay. You're doing great!" Slowly I am learning that the airplane is meant to fly, not to fall! Which I knew already but somehow it's different when I'm the one holding the controls, when it's me keeping us at 3,000 feet!
Now... I understand that some people find the idea of me flying a plane a little shocking. I don't look like someone you'd expect to hop out of the pilot's seat of a plane (no matter how small the plane is!) But... I can do it! And my flight instructor says that women make fabulous pilots. :D hee!
Yesterday (Saturday) I went to another Jam Session with C.B. from Curaçao. What the ZIN Jammers do is once you confirm that you're going to the Jam, they add you on facebook so that they can kind of recognize your face when they see you. During the Jam, C.B said to me, "what's your name?" I said, "Kate." She said, "Kate! You're the pilot! And you have tattoos!" I WAS ELATED!!!!! Of course she didn't recognize my face.. my profile picture is me from behind, flying Al last week! I was wearing a racerback tank and you can see my tattoos. C.B. also said, "and you're trying to quit sugar! How's that going for you?" LOL!!!! She is so funny.
Yes, I can pull the plane!
My sweet babies, Abby & Jax
6.23.13
Friday, June 21, 2013
Baby Steps
Good morning!
Happy Friday! I hope you all are going to do something fun. This is going to be an unusual Friday night for me. Typically I do nothing. But tonight I'm going out to 2 different clubs/bars with 2 different sets of friends! I'm very popular all of a sudden. I almost never drink, so when I do it's pretty funny. I have horrible balance when I'm buzzed.
Anyway, I need to go shopping because one of my heels broke. Honestly, to whom does that actually happen?? So... oh well. Lol.
I have been working very hard to cut out artificial sweeteners, and I think I've done a pretty good job. As I type this I am drinking Yogi tea with no sweetener. My taste buds are changing. The other night Corky cut up an apple. I snagged a piece and popped it in my mouth. I said, "wow this is a really good apple! What kind is it?" He said, "Jazz apple." I eat jazz apples ALL. THE. TIME. I said, "hmm! Well this is a really sweet Jazz apple." Then I realized something. The Jazz apples always taste like that! They're always that good, I've just been missing it this whole time because I was deadening my taste buds with all the artificial crap I was ingesting. The only place I really ingest artificial sweetener (and it's sucralose, not aspartame) is in my yogurt, which I'm also trying to cut down on. Starting with 2 yogurts per day instead of 3.
Another thing I've started doing is drinking about 4 ounces of Superfood every morning. It looks disgusting but it tastes like fruit. 4 ounces is about 64 calories. Which, as you may know, scares me to death because I hate drinking my calories. But it is full of nutrients and vitamins and, according to my friend who drinks it every morning, it can do wonders for your energy. Well God knows I need more energy! LOL!
Tomorrow is going to be crazy as well. Zumba class, Zumba Jam session, master class, 90 min Zumba party... all after probably having about 3-4 hours of sleep (from being out tonight.) So... thank goodness for Superfood! lol. And tea. Lots and lots of tea.
I have some errands to run and a bunch of work to do today so.. here's a few pictures to amuse you. Have an awesome weekend in case I don't talk to you sooner! XO
Happy Friday! I hope you all are going to do something fun. This is going to be an unusual Friday night for me. Typically I do nothing. But tonight I'm going out to 2 different clubs/bars with 2 different sets of friends! I'm very popular all of a sudden. I almost never drink, so when I do it's pretty funny. I have horrible balance when I'm buzzed.
Anyway, I need to go shopping because one of my heels broke. Honestly, to whom does that actually happen?? So... oh well. Lol.
I have been working very hard to cut out artificial sweeteners, and I think I've done a pretty good job. As I type this I am drinking Yogi tea with no sweetener. My taste buds are changing. The other night Corky cut up an apple. I snagged a piece and popped it in my mouth. I said, "wow this is a really good apple! What kind is it?" He said, "Jazz apple." I eat jazz apples ALL. THE. TIME. I said, "hmm! Well this is a really sweet Jazz apple." Then I realized something. The Jazz apples always taste like that! They're always that good, I've just been missing it this whole time because I was deadening my taste buds with all the artificial crap I was ingesting. The only place I really ingest artificial sweetener (and it's sucralose, not aspartame) is in my yogurt, which I'm also trying to cut down on. Starting with 2 yogurts per day instead of 3.
Another thing I've started doing is drinking about 4 ounces of Superfood every morning. It looks disgusting but it tastes like fruit. 4 ounces is about 64 calories. Which, as you may know, scares me to death because I hate drinking my calories. But it is full of nutrients and vitamins and, according to my friend who drinks it every morning, it can do wonders for your energy. Well God knows I need more energy! LOL!
Tomorrow is going to be crazy as well. Zumba class, Zumba Jam session, master class, 90 min Zumba party... all after probably having about 3-4 hours of sleep (from being out tonight.) So... thank goodness for Superfood! lol. And tea. Lots and lots of tea.
I have some errands to run and a bunch of work to do today so.. here's a few pictures to amuse you. Have an awesome weekend in case I don't talk to you sooner! XO
SUPERFOOOOOD!!!!!!
The following 5 pictures are snaps off Twitter and articles
They speak for themselves.
'Merikuh.
Horrors!!
Why does this exist??
EW EW EW EW!!!
Have a little salad with your fat grams, hmm?
And for my PDX homies:
AAAAND me and my crazy hair:
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Roses Are Red...
In one of those weird chain-like events where you go from one website to another to another and eventually think to yourself "how did I get here?", I have found the subject matter for this entry:
Roses Are Red poems.
Where did these come from? Why do they exist? We've all heard them basically our whole lives. But did you ever stop to think how they came to be?
Here are a few of the funny, twisted, ridiculous Roses Are Red poems I've come across. Enjoy!
#1
Click Here for the soundtrack to go along with the first one:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In Soviet Russia,
Tetris plays YOU!!
#2
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Some poems rhyme
but this one doesn't.
#3
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet
and so are you...
BUT!
The roses are wilted,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.
#4
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Loves is passionate,
Don't bet on it.
#5
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love my toilet,
It holds all my poo.
(EW! As I typed this one my dog farted horrendously)
And now for my 2 favorites:
Roses are red,
That much is true,
but violets are purple,
and not f*cking blue!
And last but definitely not least:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue...
and neither are useful or necessary at all.
Happy Thursday everyone. XO!
Roses Are Red poems.
Where did these come from? Why do they exist? We've all heard them basically our whole lives. But did you ever stop to think how they came to be?
Here are a few of the funny, twisted, ridiculous Roses Are Red poems I've come across. Enjoy!
#1
Click Here for the soundtrack to go along with the first one:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In Soviet Russia,
Tetris plays YOU!!
#2
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Some poems rhyme
but this one doesn't.
#3
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet
and so are you...
BUT!
The roses are wilted,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.
#4
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Loves is passionate,
Don't bet on it.
#5
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I love my toilet,
It holds all my poo.
(EW! As I typed this one my dog farted horrendously)
And now for my 2 favorites:
Roses are red,
That much is true,
but violets are purple,
and not f*cking blue!
And last but definitely not least:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue...
and neither are useful or necessary at all.
Happy Thursday everyone. XO!
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Hot Tea & Ice Water
The time is coming.... the dreaded event.... the "rite of passage," if you will....
wisdom tooth removal!!!!! (dun dun dunnnn!)
It's not as if it's just snuck up on me. My wisdom teeth made their first appearance back in November of 2009! They've been hanging around... biding their time... but now they're really starting to bug me. And worse, my teeth are moving! I know I need to get them out before they undo all that two separate sets of braces (in 4th and 11th grades) did for me.
It's not like I'll miss them! God no. They hurt, they make my gums ache, they give me the incessant urge to chew on things like pens and straws and they cause me to bite my cheeks all the time. No, I won't miss them one bit. What I'm definitely not looking forward to is general anesthesia. I don't wake up well from that. I get nauseated and scared, sometimes taking a swing at people before I realize what I'm doing. Add that to the typical confusion that comes along with coming out of anesthesia and you have a very unpleasant Kate on your hands. Very Jekyll-and-Hyde.
OH!!!! That reminds me!!! Watch this video clip (it's about 40 seconds long)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug86LG4Zu08
The "My name is... Mr. HYDE!!!!" part scared the living shit out of me when I was a kid and first watched this movie (the Pagemaster.) It's actually a pretty intense movie!!! When I was older (about 14) and my sister was 5, she got to enjoy the Mr. Hyde-induced fright. We then made a game where we put weird goggles on and staggered around the house going "My name is MR HYDE!" to anyone who passed by.
Good times. Just discovered my (now 16 almost 17 year old) sister has unfriended me on facebook. Lovely....
I realize that the title of this post matches the Jekyll & Hyde thing. Which is totally by accident, but funny anyway. I've been drinking tea ALLDAYLONG. I've had like 4 or 5 cups. Green tea of all kinds. Plain green, Green tea w/ Cranberry, Green tea w/ blueberry, Green tea w/ mint... you name it, I've had it. I'm also currently drinking ice water beeccaaauuuusssee.....
A marathon chew-and-spit session just took place. 4 giant cookies (that I baked,) a whole box of Ritz Bits Cheese thingies, a whole box of Granola w/ almond milk.... of course all of it was chewed, spit into a cup and then put down the garbage disposal. My mouth is all cut up. So the ice water helps. I have a cup of (plain) green tea brewed but it's too hot to drink.
Also!!!! There is nothing in the world (well, almost nothing) that can make me grumpier than biting my lip while chewing. It happened a few days ago and I almost started crying. Not because it hurt, although it did. But because as soon as I bit it I knew it would turn into a nasty canker sore and, because of the placement, that I'd bite it over and over again and it would take forever to heal. Well... I wasn't wrong. I've bitten it at least once a day since and DAMN it hurts so bad.
wisdom tooth removal!!!!! (dun dun dunnnn!)
It's not as if it's just snuck up on me. My wisdom teeth made their first appearance back in November of 2009! They've been hanging around... biding their time... but now they're really starting to bug me. And worse, my teeth are moving! I know I need to get them out before they undo all that two separate sets of braces (in 4th and 11th grades) did for me.
It's not like I'll miss them! God no. They hurt, they make my gums ache, they give me the incessant urge to chew on things like pens and straws and they cause me to bite my cheeks all the time. No, I won't miss them one bit. What I'm definitely not looking forward to is general anesthesia. I don't wake up well from that. I get nauseated and scared, sometimes taking a swing at people before I realize what I'm doing. Add that to the typical confusion that comes along with coming out of anesthesia and you have a very unpleasant Kate on your hands. Very Jekyll-and-Hyde.
OH!!!! That reminds me!!! Watch this video clip (it's about 40 seconds long)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug86LG4Zu08
The "My name is... Mr. HYDE!!!!" part scared the living shit out of me when I was a kid and first watched this movie (the Pagemaster.) It's actually a pretty intense movie!!! When I was older (about 14) and my sister was 5, she got to enjoy the Mr. Hyde-induced fright. We then made a game where we put weird goggles on and staggered around the house going "My name is MR HYDE!" to anyone who passed by.
Good times. Just discovered my (now 16 almost 17 year old) sister has unfriended me on facebook. Lovely....
I realize that the title of this post matches the Jekyll & Hyde thing. Which is totally by accident, but funny anyway. I've been drinking tea ALLDAYLONG. I've had like 4 or 5 cups. Green tea of all kinds. Plain green, Green tea w/ Cranberry, Green tea w/ blueberry, Green tea w/ mint... you name it, I've had it. I'm also currently drinking ice water beeccaaauuuusssee.....
A marathon chew-and-spit session just took place. 4 giant cookies (that I baked,) a whole box of Ritz Bits Cheese thingies, a whole box of Granola w/ almond milk.... of course all of it was chewed, spit into a cup and then put down the garbage disposal. My mouth is all cut up. So the ice water helps. I have a cup of (plain) green tea brewed but it's too hot to drink.
Also!!!! There is nothing in the world (well, almost nothing) that can make me grumpier than biting my lip while chewing. It happened a few days ago and I almost started crying. Not because it hurt, although it did. But because as soon as I bit it I knew it would turn into a nasty canker sore and, because of the placement, that I'd bite it over and over again and it would take forever to heal. Well... I wasn't wrong. I've bitten it at least once a day since and DAMN it hurts so bad.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
THE BEST WEEKEND!!!!
The highlights of my weekend:
- Sentao Licensing
- Hanging with J, D and K all day
- Getting to see MW and taking a picture with her (see previous post)
- Getting a hug from MW as well
- Chicken Molé at Pepita's last night (I know, food...)
- First Diet Coke in a whole week last night WITH the Molé!
- Awesome Zumba class this morning
- Flight lesson
- 2 take-offs
- 360 degree turn to the left
- aiming
- ascent, descent
- Found new favorite Clif Bar (Peanut Toffee Buzz)
- Had one of my Tweets replied to by WATATAH! (see link below)
- Allowed myself to eat a few little cookies
OMG! What a great f*cking weekend!!!!!!
I can't even type coherently right now. Here's a link to my favorite Watatah song and a few pics for you to look at.
Palo by Watatah (pardon the pics in the background)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhEZcYSP8WI
Peace at 2,200ft
6.16.13
before the flight
Oregon!
concentrating so hard
Left bank (20 degrees?)
Pretty river
Me and Al (I named the plane Al)
Sentao training!
Get well Pepper Von!!!
Sleepy Jaxxie <3 6.16.13
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Sentao
As of today at 4:15pm or so, I am licensed to teach Zumba Sentao. It was a long day (started at 9:00am) with only a few little breaks, lots of information and a fair amount of actual dancing!
For those of you who don't know what Zumba Sentao is, it's basically Zumba Toning (self-explanatory) plus a chair. And that does not mean you sit in the chair and don't workout. Oh no. You use the chair to workout! It's your "dance partner" of sorts. You dance: merengue, cumbia, reggaeton, salsa, anything! And then you walk to the side of the chair and do push-ups. You do Tricep Dips (tricep? Right? The one on the back of your arms?) You do squats next to, behind or in front of your chair. You do lunges. Step-ups. All while dancing next to, behind, in front of, around and even a little ON your chair! Sound like fun? It is. And it's HARD, do not let the chair fool you. I am sure I'll be sore tomorrow!
I didn't know if I would know anyone at the training. I was pleased to walk in and immediately see my new friend D, who teaches at Boom with me. We talked for a bit and then it was time to go in to the area of the giant gymnasium where curtains sectioned off our "classroom." I was BEYOND EXCITED to walk toward there and see MW! You might remember me mentioning MW in a previous post (I disremember exactly which one just now) where A, L, L and I went to a Jam Session on 3/3/13. MM and MW were the ZJ's. ZJ means Zumba Jammer. MW IS MY IDOL!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!! SHE IS AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL AND CONFIDENT AND I WANT TO BE EXACTLY LIKE HER ONE DAY!!!!! Except, you know, blonde and not Venezuelan. :)
I got a pic with her. I was very very very happy!
For those of you who don't know what Zumba Sentao is, it's basically Zumba Toning (self-explanatory) plus a chair. And that does not mean you sit in the chair and don't workout. Oh no. You use the chair to workout! It's your "dance partner" of sorts. You dance: merengue, cumbia, reggaeton, salsa, anything! And then you walk to the side of the chair and do push-ups. You do Tricep Dips (tricep? Right? The one on the back of your arms?) You do squats next to, behind or in front of your chair. You do lunges. Step-ups. All while dancing next to, behind, in front of, around and even a little ON your chair! Sound like fun? It is. And it's HARD, do not let the chair fool you. I am sure I'll be sore tomorrow!
I didn't know if I would know anyone at the training. I was pleased to walk in and immediately see my new friend D, who teaches at Boom with me. We talked for a bit and then it was time to go in to the area of the giant gymnasium where curtains sectioned off our "classroom." I was BEYOND EXCITED to walk toward there and see MW! You might remember me mentioning MW in a previous post (I disremember exactly which one just now) where A, L, L and I went to a Jam Session on 3/3/13. MM and MW were the ZJ's. ZJ means Zumba Jammer. MW IS MY IDOL!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!! SHE IS AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL AND CONFIDENT AND I WANT TO BE EXACTLY LIKE HER ONE DAY!!!!! Except, you know, blonde and not Venezuelan. :)
I got a pic with her. I was very very very happy!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Finals Done
Today was the last exam upon which I will write "Simson" as my last name. Wow!!! That's a weird thought!
This morning was one of those mornings where Murphy and his damn Law come out and go HI!!!! I'M HERE!!!! IN CASE YOU FORGOT!
Ugh. My dad came to pick me up at 8:15am because he was giving me a ride into downtown on his way to work (parking on campus during finals week is a stupid idea, so I hitch rides.) Here is the timeline of today:
This morning was one of those mornings where Murphy and his damn Law come out and go HI!!!! I'M HERE!!!! IN CASE YOU FORGOT!
Ugh. My dad came to pick me up at 8:15am because he was giving me a ride into downtown on his way to work (parking on campus during finals week is a stupid idea, so I hitch rides.) Here is the timeline of today:
- 7:50am - alarm goes off. Hit snooze
- 7:50-7:58am - lie in bed, figuring out what I'm going to wear and where those garments are located (i.e. on the floor in the closet or in the clean laundry bin)
- 7:59am - drag my sorry ass out of bed and collect jeans, Zumba T-shirt (for good luck) and hoodie from around the room
- 8:04am - brush teeth, receive text from dad saying "leaving the house now, c u in 10"
- 8:06am - stumble downstairs, find and take: cleanse pills, Vitamin B complex, and fish oil pills
- 8:12am - hunt for notebook because final exam is open note
- 8:15am - receive text from dad saying "im here", stuff keys, wallet, water bottle and sunglasses into bag, put on flip flops and run out the door
- 8:53am - arrive at dad's office
- 8:59am - in dad's office, make cup of Yogi tea and prepare to study for a while
- 9:01am - realize I grabbed the wrong notebook
- 9:05am - ask dad for car keys, run down to parking garage, get in the car and zoom out
- 9:10-9:25am - call Corky several times to try to get him to locate the notebook for me. No answer.
- 9:31am - arrive home, find that I'm locked out by the deadbolt and the lock is too rusty for my key to work easily
- 9:34 - finally get in, locate notebook in a box that's in a bag that's under the TV. Of course!
- 9:35am - grab keys and run back out the door, realize I grabbed Corky's keys instead of my dad's, run back in and exchange keys, and leave again
- 9:50am - by the grace of God, arrive back to downtown in record time
- 9:51am - drive in circles around campus because there are no 3 hour parking spots available and exam is from 10:15am until 11:30am
- 9:55am - finally find the only open parking space. It is one hour.
- 10:05am - run into the student store to buy a scantron for 25 cents. The lady wishes me luck
- 10:07am - arrive at classroom
- 10:08am - use bathroom, crack up laughing over stupid comment on blog (see Last Words)
- 10:14am - realize I don't have a pencil. Ask to borrow one from random dude next to me
- 10:15am-10:50am - rush through final exam, consisting of 30 multiple choice, 10 true/false and a short essay. Done in 35 minutes.
- 10:56am - arrive back at car just in time to stop the anal meter maid from writing me a ticket for being ONE F*CKING MINUTE LATE
- 11:05am - return car keys to dad, fall into a chair and, at long last, pick up my tea. It is ice cold.
Welcome to KateWorld. And that was just the morning!!! Distressed was I to come home finally and discover that Corky had left the peanut butter at home. I absolutely HATE having peanut butter in my house. The trouble is that I like it so much :(
I've been doing this thing where I'm cutting out artificial sweeteners (or at least most of them.) They give me headaches and make me retain water and are bad for my brain and so on. But DAMN I'd give anything for a Coke Zero right now. Anyway. That means no Monsters, no diet soda, no FruitWater, nothing like that. I've been drinking tea and water with lemon for the last several days. Most of the time the cravings aren't too bad. Sometimes they are VERY overwhelming. There is, however, sucralose in my yogurt. But if I cut that out I'd practically be on Paleo again! Which might not be an altogether bad thing....
Tomorrow morning is my unofficial "audition" at Ballroom Dance Company. Wish me luck! XO
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Nothing Makes Sense
This is going to be a pretty random post, I can feel it! Just FYI.
I feel wrong.
I don't understand how things can slip away so fast. I was having a skinny day just the other day! Where the fuck did it go?? Now I look (to myself) like a huge piece of lard with clothes on! I just want it to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to be skinny, damnit! That's all. Why is that so much to ask? I don't often publicly have these please-oh-please sessions, and I try not to have them in my head very often either, but here comes one now... oh well. All I can do is hang on and try not to lose my mind.
I feel insane.
How can things really be like people say they are? How can I really look like that to myself and then look totally different to another person? I have perfect vision! This should not be possible!
I just read this book:
It was pretty good until the last like 1/6 of it. It seemed like King got tired of writing and it just kind of fizzled out. Still worth the read though. It definitely makes you think!
Also, here is one of the next 2 tattoos I'm getting:
Can anyone tell me what it is the logo for? I'll put the correct answer in the next post.... if anyone even reads this crap. LOL!
The other (next) tattoo I'm getting is going to be:
N62407
which is the tail number of the little Cessna 172 I took my first flying lesson in. :) Corky will have a "matching" one only his will say N738ZC.
I have a confession to make: I am not sure I want to recover. It seems too risky. I see so many pics of people I know who had eating disorders and have recovered and are fat now. That's too scary for me. There. I've said it. Can't take it back now (well, actually I can until I hit "publish" but I won't take it back. It's the truth.) I wish I could have some kind of guarantee that I won't be fat. Actually, how about I just don't gain any weight at all? That works for me!
I feel wrong.
I don't understand how things can slip away so fast. I was having a skinny day just the other day! Where the fuck did it go?? Now I look (to myself) like a huge piece of lard with clothes on! I just want it to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to be skinny, damnit! That's all. Why is that so much to ask? I don't often publicly have these please-oh-please sessions, and I try not to have them in my head very often either, but here comes one now... oh well. All I can do is hang on and try not to lose my mind.
I feel insane.
How can things really be like people say they are? How can I really look like that to myself and then look totally different to another person? I have perfect vision! This should not be possible!
I just read this book:
It was pretty good until the last like 1/6 of it. It seemed like King got tired of writing and it just kind of fizzled out. Still worth the read though. It definitely makes you think!
Also, here is one of the next 2 tattoos I'm getting:
Can anyone tell me what it is the logo for? I'll put the correct answer in the next post.... if anyone even reads this crap. LOL!
The other (next) tattoo I'm getting is going to be:
N62407
which is the tail number of the little Cessna 172 I took my first flying lesson in. :) Corky will have a "matching" one only his will say N738ZC.
I have a confession to make: I am not sure I want to recover. It seems too risky. I see so many pics of people I know who had eating disorders and have recovered and are fat now. That's too scary for me. There. I've said it. Can't take it back now (well, actually I can until I hit "publish" but I won't take it back. It's the truth.) I wish I could have some kind of guarantee that I won't be fat. Actually, how about I just don't gain any weight at all? That works for me!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
2nd Picture Dump (from today)
A few more from today:
kisses!!
help! Bulldog running away with my camera!!!
Abby
bulldog sibling love <3
Bachelorette Party Picture Dump
Pictures from my Bachelorette Party weekend
May 31-June 1, 2013 :)
They're all out of order, sorry!
May 31-June 1, 2013 :)
They're all out of order, sorry!
my friend writing marriage advice while my mom looks on
my friend Pinning the Peacock on the Hunk
posing with gifts <3
more marriage advice for me!
everybody's decorating peacocks
my bestie's and my matching phone cases
the walkway (OMG BALLOONS! RUN!!!)
Advice book
Besties together again! xo
my sash
my bestie, my mom and me at Zumba on 5.31.13
some gifts
LOL
the door decoration
prize box
I think I look huge in this pic but oh well
Peacock iPhones!
my bestie before her first zumba class ever
just another day at work! lol
my soon to be Mother In Law (love her!)
Main table
The whole party!
at sushi
opening presents
I love her!!!!
I wanna see your Peacock!
Bridal scratch-it game
my friend and me decorating our peacocks
3 besties at sushi
pretty!
Bridal pictionary (I was drawing "Laughter")
More Pin the Peacock
my mom pinning the peacock LOL
awesome gift :D
Friends!
I improved the "hunk" by giving him a mustache and eyepatch and tattoo haha
My bestie and Jaxxie 5.31.13
Giant cupcake
Giant cupcake and baby neon cupcakes w/ peacock feathers
cute!
My friend and Jax
LOL huge yawn Jaxxie
My parrot helps me celebrate
Bride to be and Maid of Honor
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)