21 Weeks!

Baby & I made it to 21 weeks now.  More than halfway done!  It's crazy, in some ways it feels like the time goes by quickly, but when I look back in my memory at the day those pregnancy tests came up positive, it feels like it was years ago.  That strange, strange day in March.  I'll never forget it.

For the most part, things are fine.  I haven't gained too much weight, my OB says everything is fine in that department.  Of course my eating disorder brain thinks in such a black-and-white fashion that unless the OB is saying "You haven't gained enough weight," then my brain hears "You've gained too much weight."  Which, I know, is totally not what he said!  But that's how it seems to me.

Last night I went to the mall with Alena, her mom, our friend S (guy) and Corky.  We were in H&M and Alena and I were trying stuff on.  I don't know what she was trying on, but I was trying on these shorts.  They were made of sweatpant material and had a super elastic waist.  Well, the medium size looked ridiculous on me because they were really baggy, but the waist fit fine.  The small looked better in the leg area but it gave me muffin top.  WHICH I F*CKING HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Now... I know that there is a baby growing in my abdomen.  I understand that this automatically makes my waist bigger.  Rationally I totally get that.  But I have to tell you, in that very moment, nothing mattered except that I looked like a huge fat pig.  I wanted to cry!  At that moment, Alena poked her head out of her dressing room across the way and said, "Kate! Will you look at this?"  She opened the door and was wearing a dress.  OH MY GOD!!! She looked so perfect in that dress! I was insanely jealous, wishing that I could look even half as good as that in anything right now.

Most of the time I try really really hard not to complain.  My skin hurts where it's being stretched, but I just put lotion on and keep going.  My back aches sometimes, but I just take a warm bath and take some Tylenol and it usually goes away.  I get headaches pretty often but the world doesn't stop for pregnancy headaches!  I've got Zumba classes to teach, so I just go and teach them.  The other day I was with a friend and I said something about my skin stretching and aching and she asked me some more questions about that.  When I answered she said, "Oh my god.. you, like, never complain!  I feel like I would be one of those bitchy pregnant ladies, like, oh my god, this hurts.. oh my god, that hurts.." and I laughed and told her she might be!  But she might surprise herself too.

I can't do anything about the things that are bugging me, except the things I'm already doing, so what's the point in complaining very much?  I will admit to getting a little bit more complain-y at night, when trying to go to sleep, but that usually just consists of me saying something like, "I cannot get comfortable!" and then Corky rubs my back and I fall asleep without saying much more.  Believe me, I am apologizing to him on a daily basis for being "bitchy" or "sad."  He always tells me, "Babe... it's not that bad.  You're doing fine!" whenever I apologize.  I never know whether to believe him or not, so I just believe him. LOL!

Gender reveal party tomorrow! I'll post with the gender sometime after that, and probably some pics too!  In the meantime, here's my 20 week belly pic and the ultrasound pic.  Enjoy and...
Happy Weekend!!! :) xoxo