***trigger warning (maybe?)***
This post is disjointed, I apologize in advance. I'm kind of all over the place.
All I want is to lose weight, that's literally what's on my mind 70% of the day. Which makes me feel horrible because I'm a mom now and I feel like I shouldn't even be thinking about that. But I do and I can't help it. Make no mistake, I think about my daughter 100% of the day, but weight loss is in there too for a majority of it. And I would never jeopardize my daughters health or safety for the sake of weight loss, in case you were worried. When I go to the gym it's always when someone else was planned to watch her to give me a break and some time to myself. Originally I had planned to go to Starbucks alone or the grocery store, but ended up at the gym.
I sent a text to my friend yesterday saying "why is it that when shit hits the fan with my family my first instinct is to go to the gym and kill myself on the elliptical??" That's that I've been doing!! Things went south again with my fam and I'm just so hurt I can't even stand it. I just want to disappear every time I think about it.
Sigh!! Sorry for the downer post, but here's some pics of my girl to make it better. :)
Mara and her owl.
Neck rolls for days!
Stinkbug :)
Snuggling with mommy on Christmas
Not of Mara, but I'm almost feeling like myself again. Just need to tone up a little. So there's that! :D
My stinkbug lookin' like her daddy lol
Kate don't be too hard on yourself
ReplyDeleteJust because you are now a mommy doesn't mean your ED disappears
It tries to get us when we are vulnerable
Don't beat yourself up for feeling the urge to lose weight
And can I just say
You look freakin amazing
Even if you hadn't had a baby I would still say that
And Mara is a dote as we say here
So cute and beautiful
Just like her mom
Take care x
Mara is already getting cuter by the day. I love her owl, what a clever idea.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with the gym and wanting to lose weight. But like Ruby said, your struggles can't be expected to disappear just because you're a mother now.
Try to take care as best you can.
You look amazing as always, by the way.
xx