I found out my weight again yesterday. Don't worry, I won't write it. But suffice it to say it's a big change from the last time I found out, when I was like 8.5 months pregnant!! On the one hand I really wanted to know because I was so curious. On the other hand I know I tend to obsess over numbers when I know them. As it turned out I didn't have to make that decision because Corky kind of blurted out the number. So that was that.
It wasn't a horrible number. Not as low as my eating disorder would like but... could've been worse! But lo and behold... I am obsessing. This morning I got on the scale here at home because I know the OB scale is off by a bit. The number was 3lb lower here at home.
The last week or so I've noticed the ED thoughts creeping in stronger and stronger. I've written numerous times in my journal this week how all I can think about is losing weight. Now that I know the number, I find myself thinking about goal weights and starting to more obsessively count every calorie (since yesterday morning.) This is a slippery slope!!! And I'm not sure how to arrest my slide, or if I even can! But I remember this. This is how it starts.
Totally off topic but here is a pic of my handsome husband and me ready to go to a board appreciation dinner for his credit union on Sunday night (12/14/14)
Oh hun, try not to obsess too much over the number. Remember, you did just have a baby =) It's kinda crazy how as soon as the baby is born, the thoughts appear. It's hard not to think about it, but rest assured hun, you will get your body back. And in my opinion, you look great for 3 weeks postpartum. =)
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I've tried like 5 times to reply to this comment and my phone is being stupid. Ugh. Anyway, thank you for your words. And how are you doing?? xo
Deleteabsolutely the most beautiful picture of you. Motherhood suits you well. And Mara is a doll.
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