Lists

So... I'm possessed.

I'm possessed all the time by my eating disorder, but usually I can keep myself from blurting out absolutely every single thing my eating disorder says inside my head.  But every now and then something slips out that makes everyone around me that knows me go "oh, that wasn't Kate who just said that..."

Today I was at my therapy appointment and I was talking to her about the act of crying and how I find it, for the most part, irritating.  We were talking about last winter when I was in the group she ran on Wednesday nights.  She reminded me how when the other girls in group would cry (which was often) I would get agitated.  

I responded, "yeah, I know, it just sometimes seemed so... unnecessary!"

My therapist, H, said, "Unnecessary?  How is it unnecessary??"

And my eating disorder momentarily borrowed my mouth and said, "You're wasting salt that you could use for sweat later when you do your workout!"

We both started laughing.  "That," she said, "is the most ridiculous thing you've ever said to me!"  I told her she should write a book about all the weird shit her patients have said to her over the years, as long as she promised to include that one.  She said, "that'll be the title!" 

She asked me to make a list of MY likes.  As opposed to my eating disorder's likes.  I'm not so sure there's always a difference but I'll give it a shot.  Some of these aren't food related so they'll probably match up, but some certainly won't!

Kate + Eating Disorder List:

Favorite color: red
Favorite number: 11
Favorite food: salad or popsicles
Favorite thing to drink: Monster Zero
Favorite TV show: Air Crash Investigation
Favorite movie: Mothman Prophecies
Favorite band/artist: Lady Gaga
Favorite hobby: Zumba
Favorite holiday: Halloween
Favorite season: Fall
Favorite ice cream flavor: Fat Free Vanilla Frozen Yogurt
Favorite pizza: thin crust veggie from Papa Murphy's
Favorite animal: bird
Favorite month: October


JUST KATE List:
Favorite color: turquoise
Favorite number: 11
Favorite food: lentil soup
Favorite thing to drink: Powerade
Favorite TV show: Air Crash Investigation
Favorite movie: Mothman Prophecies
Favorite band/artist: Katy Perry
Favorite hobby: Zumba
Favorite holiday: Hanukkah
Favorite season: Fall
Favorite ice cream flavor: Oreo
Favorite pizza: cheese w/ pepperoni & pineapple
Favorite animal: bird
Favorite month: October

Okay... so first of all that second list was HARD!!!! I stared at the blinking cursor in front of  "favorite food" for at lest 5 minutes before writing "lentil soup."  I honestly could not think of anything!!!! It was awful!  I am, however, relieved to see that there are some things that are common between both lists, even if they are as insignificant as "favorite movie," "favorite movie," and "favorite month."

The hobby category left me scratching my head for a second.  Is Zumba really my favorite hobby?  No question I love it, and I definitely feel good when I'm dancing.  But would it really be my very favorite hobby if I didn't have an eating disorder?  Maybe.  So I just left it.  But I very nearly wrote something having to do with airplanes.  

Did any of those answers surprise you?
On either list?