(***Note: I'm not pregnant!!!!! Before you freak out. Lol. But this post is dealing with the topic of pregnancy. Just so you know.)
You remember those little toys from the 90s (maybe they're still around now) that were little beige-ish men that you could stretch? Like you could pull his arms and legs in opposite directions and he'd just stretch forever? He was called Stretch Armstrong I think.
I feel like that.
I'm 26, married, and we just bought a house. What comes next? Kids, right? I have known for a long time that I definitely want kid(s). Now that I'm married, it's kind of been on the forefront of my mind. But here's where Stretch Armstrong comes in.
Part of me really wants to be a mom. I know it will be hard, so don't think that I'm fooling myself into thinking it's a snap. I'm not! But I also know that kids fill your life the way nothing else can. They make you whole. I know I will love my kid(s) unconditionally, always, forever. I'm not worried about that.
But part of me is pulling the other way, towards staying "little." By little I mean young. Carefree (for the most part.) Spontaneous. Living for myself. Not that I've ever been the greatest at putting my needs first, but... I do things I want to do sometimes, rather than the things I need to do. Nothing big. I have a job, I always go to work. But I mean like I should clean the kitchen, but I paint my nails instead. Eventually the kitchen gets cleaned. But just not right then.
And the sleep! Oh... sleep.... That is one thing I'll miss for sure! But not enough to deter me from wanting kids.
Then there's the whole "what will pregnancy do to my body?" aspect. I'm not even going to go there!!! Suffice it to say: I'm scared shitless. But my desire to be a mom overrides my fear. I've seen people "get their bodies back" time and again. I know I can do it too. The interim part scares me but... it's not forever.
Anyway. I'm sure I'm not the only anorexic person ever to grapple with this, and I'm sure I won't be the last!
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