Let ED Talk

Every single day, all day long, there is this war raging in my brain.  I've alluded to this before.  I don't actually hear voices but... it's kind of like that.  I almost never let ED talk to me without countering.  But damn.. that "voice" is so loud right now.  So I am just going to let it talk.  This will be in the style of ED talking to me (so therefore "you" means me.)  I will warn you: it is a mean voice.  It says very awful things.  If you are sensitive, in a bad place, 

***Trigger Warning (duh.)*** 
 I will warn you: it is a mean voice.  It says very awful things.  If you are sensitive, in a bad place, or having a tough day, maybe don't read this now.  If you have an eating disorder that you're fighting, these words might hit a little close to home.  If you've come here to hate, don't bother.  Read on at your own risk.

You are a fat, ugly, weak, stupid piece of shit.  You don't deserve to call yourself "anorexic."  Anyone who sees you would say "you don't look like you have an eating disorder."  Or, "you look good, you look healthy, you look fine."  Do you know what those words mean?  They mean you are FAT!  You are lazy.  And weak.  And dumb.  It's your fault.  It's ALL your fault!  What's your excuse?  All you had to do was not eat.  But you couldn't even manage that, could you?  You just fail at everything.

You don't like how you feel right now, do you?  Idiot.  I would tell you to make sure it never happens again but I know you're too dumb and it'll happen again.  It always does.  Oh, you're sorry?  You want to beg god or whoever is listening to please please not make you fat?  Well, I have news for you.  YOU are the only one who can keep you from getting fat.  But you're shitty at that.  This weekend, this snowstorm, has proved that.

You even have bottles of FAT FIGHTERS you stupid bitch... all you had to do was take one!  I don't know how well they work, but it would have been better than nothing, maybe.  You are stupid.  Dumb.  How the hell do you ever expect to do anything right?  I only ask ONE thing of you.  Just one thing.  Don't eat!  How hard is that?  You're humongous and disgusting and you deserve every second of pain you get from that realization.  Maybe it will knock some sense into your empty head before next time.