It Happened

Sometimes, if there's something you dread, it doesn't matter much if you know it's coming.  When it comes, it still sucks.  Sure, maybe it helps a little, teeny, eeny, weeny bit not to be blindsided by it (okay, maybe it helps a fair amount) but the end result is just as hard to deal with regardless of the time you've had to prepare yourself for it.

For the last several months, I've known the time was coming that I would be told to stop teaching Zumba.  I feared it would be back in March, remember?  When I first found out I was pregnant and things weren't going very well, I was afraid I'd be told to stop teaching right then and not work out at all for the rest of the pregnancy.  So very grateful am I that this was not the case.

Over the course of the past several weeks, I've been having a lot of pelvic pain and some other weird symptoms I'd rather not mention (just because they're kind of gross.  Definitely TMI), but throughout it all the baby's heartbeat remained strong and her growth on track.  Do not be alarmed-- her heartbeat is still good and her growth is just fine.  Anyway, I mentioned the discomfort at my last scheduled OB appointment on August 4th, and was told it was normal.  The bones in the bottom of my pelvis are not stuck together, and they are moving to prepare for Mara passing between them.  Okay, sure, I can live with that.  So I just ignored the pain, used hot baths or heating pads and tried to rest when it hurt really bad.  At every check up, I always ask if i I can keep teaching Zumba as long as I don't jump and I'm always told that it's fine, good even, because it keeps me strong.

Last week, on Monday, I was having some different kind of pain.  Just to be safe, I called the advice nurse at the OB clinic, which I hadn't done since April when I was having issues with excessive spotting and cramping.  The advice nurse had me come in and get checked by an OB to see if I had a urinary tract infection (I didn't.)  I should mention, at this point, that I had seen five different OBs by that time.  Anyway, the OB I saw said that everything looked good, Mara's heartbeat was great, my urine cultures were negative, and I was probably just having some pressure on my bladder from where Mara was sitting.  Okay, sure, I can live with that too.  

Then on Sunday I started having another weird sensation, and sorry if this is going to get a little gross, but it felt like there was something stuck... you know... UP in there!  Like an air bubble.  It wasn't painful, just annoying.  But Mara was kicking away like crazy!  In fact, her feet stuck out of my belly on several occasions, and you could see them through my shirt!  Nevertheless, when I woke up Monday morning I just had a bad feeling.  I actually subbed out my Monday morning Zumba class, because something seemed wrong.  The air bubble feeling was still there.  I was in no pain, but I just sensed something wasn't right.

I called the advice nurse again, relayed my symptoms, and expected her to tell me it was nothing.  But she didn't tell me that!  And as I was on the phone with her, I felt a small gush of fluid.  She said, "go to Labor & Delivery.. now! I will call them and tell them you are coming!"  As I was about to leave, she called back saying that L&D was actually on "divert" so we had to come to the clinic to get checked.  She got me in to see yet another OB (this makes 6 now, in as many months) at 9:30am.

This new OB checked Mara's heartbeat with the doppler.  As always, it sounded great, strong as can be (my tough little cookie!)  Then she performed a pelvic exam.  Definitely not my idea of a good time but she was very gentle and it was over pretty quickly.  She told me nothing looked wrong, that all my membranes were still intact, but that she wanted to check my cervix anyway with her fingers.  She checked, and said it was closed, which was good, but that it was "soft", which was not good.

And THEN.... she spoke the dreaded words:  "You need to cut WAY back on your activity level."

I stared stonily at the ceiling and didn't say anything.

I wasn't being petulant.  I was just trying not to cry.  Because I had a question to ask her, and I knew what the answer was going to be.  But before I could ask anything, she questioned me, "What do you do for work?"

"I teach Zumba," I said.

"Not anymore you don't," she quipped, snapping her exam gloves into the garbage one at a time.

The end result is this: my cervix is soft and it should be hard, but it's not.  The baby is low and apparently that's not good.  The pain I have been feeling in my pelvis was, in fact, pressure and is not actually normal.  I should not have been ignoring it, but how could I know that?  I've always been up front with the OBs about my symptoms and how can I know when I'm being wrongly advised?  For the next week I need to lay VERY low.  Or, as the doctor put it, "lounge around."  I asked, "how exactly does one... DO that?" because honestly I don't know!  I'm still allowed to go on vacation to Hawaii next week, but if I have any more fluid leakage or cramping or contractions beforehand, I have to call the clinic and come get checked again.  And no more teaching Zumba until at least 32 weeks, if there are no more complications, or maybe just for the rest of the pregnancy.

I subbed out all my classes indefinitely.

You can be sure this was a bitter pill to swallow.

BUT!!!!!!  My baby girl is strong.  She's flipped over now, feet down, so she's not kicking as noticeably as before, but she is kicking.  Her nursery is almost done.  I have only 3 months to go.  I can do this.  Fall is coming.  

It's going to be fine.
It's going to be fine.
It's going to be fine.