BEDA (Day 30) - Welcome to Mommyville

We made it!! Last day of BEDA!  This also means that it's likely that our facebook newsfeeds will be blown up with that meme of Justin Timberlake with the words "It's Gonna Be May" which was funny, maybe, the first fifty times you saw it but by now you're just like OMG staaaaaaaaaaaahhhhppppp!!!

Okay.  Moving on.  THANK YOU all who commented on yesterday's BEDA "Roll Call"! I've always been so curious as to who actually reads this thing and got that idea from Ruby over on And Then She Recovered (hi Ruby! Since I know you read this) and decided to give it a try.  So cool to hear from all of you!  Now, open a new browser window and go check out Ruby's blog but make sure you come back to mine! She's rad. ;)

I've got to admit... when some of you said I was inspirational or such, I was a little surprised.  I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything special over here.  Most of the time I feel pretty scattered and like I'm running away from a tsunami, hanging on by my fingertips.  Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite.  Other times I don't have a clue what I'm doing (okay, most times I feel that way!) but I'm glad I can be of some kind of help to some of you!  That makes it definitely worth it.

So... speaking of the little stinkbug.... Hello Sleep Regression!  UGH!  Can I just have an IV drip of coffee puh-LEASE!  Better yet, just the caffeine part!  Right in my vein, thanks.  She has been waking up several times per night, and with my having to get up early for teaching classes not to mention pumping in the middle of the night or very early before I leave, I haven't slept more than about 3 hours per night in a week.  

Last night, however, was the worst.  Mara went down for bed like normal at 8, but woke up at 10:30 wanting a bottle, which Corky fed her.  Then she woke up at midnight, 1:10am, 2:30 and 3:15!  I never got to sleep at all because just as I would drift off, she'd cry.  Finally at 3:15am I went in there, scooped her out of bed, sat in the rocking chair and rocked her to sleep.  There I stayed until about 4:30 when my butt was so asleep I couldn't take it anymore.  Then I spread a blanket out on the floor, laid Mara down, nursed her until she fell asleep and I laid beside her.  I was freezing my ass off but I couldn't move because she had the strap of my nursing tank in  her fist and I didn't dare move.  My alarm was set for 6:00am, so at 5:45 I went and got Corky.

I have to teach Zumba at 8:30am so here I sit, being a dairy cow (pumping) because I have to leave at 7:30 on account of the commute to Tualatin being horrendous.  I doubt very much I'll remember any of my choreography!  LOL!!!!  Oh such a glamorous life I live.

But you know what?  I love it.  I wouldn't trade it for anything!!! Yes I'm more exhausted than I've ever been before, but I knew this was coming.  Everyone warned me that the first year of her life would be the most exhausting, toughest year of my life.  They were right, of course, but it's also going to be a GREAT year.  Mara is growing, learning and changing every day - right before my eyes!  I'm incredibly proud of her.  The love is so deep, it's unimaginable if you've never experienced it.

This is what mornings look like around here.  The quiet before the rest of the house wakes up..... a creature comes lumbering down the stairs into the kitchen... it's a strange looking beast.  Hair sticking up at odd angles.  Strange black circles around its' eyes.  A weird, jerky way of walking.  Usually seen clutching a coffee cup.  What ever could this monster be?  Bigfoot?  Baba Yaga?  No... in its' native habitat it's a..... ZOMBIE MOM!!!!