Last night I felt the familiar tingling of pain in my boob again.... mastitis! The pain progressed as the evening went on and by the time I was headed home from my parents' house after the Passover Seder I knew I was in trouble again. This time it's the other side! This is really bad news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My supply on the left side took a major hit from the last bout of mastitis in mid-March, and still hasn't fully recovered. I've got a ravenous kid who eats often and I cannot afford to have another dip in supply! So I've got to be really diligent about pumping and taking extra fenugreek (yay for my armpits smelling like maple syrup!)
To be honest, this whole breastfeeding thing has just been one problem after another. But I love nursing Mara. The bonding experience is one of my favorite things about being a mom. Seeing her settle right down as soon as she latches on is the best feeling! Plus her little face is just so cute when she nurses. Oftentimes she falls asleep while nursing and I love that it makes her feel so comfortable and content that she can just drift off.... The other day she bumped her head on my collarbone and started crying. I was rubbing the spot on her head that she hit, and she started tugging at my shirt, asking to nurse. It was the sweetest thing!
If I continue having problems with mastitis, I'm afraid I'll have to stop nursing. That would be bad for 2 reasons. 1) I actually love nursing even though it's been a total pain (literally) since the start and 2) while I'm not anti-formula, breastmilk is what's best for Mara because my body literally made it tailored to her needs. Formula is fine, but breastmilk is ideal. And formula makes her gassy :(
However, if I did stop nursing there would be a few pros too. 1) Don't have to worry about needing to pump or nurse every few hours to avoid engorgement/pain. 2) Much more convenient to just put formula in a bottle than it is to have to heat up frozen breastmilk and, perhaps most important to my ED, 3) I don't have to eat to keep my supply up! Ugh! Why does it have to be so tempting to my freaking ED? Of course I would never stop just for those reasons. If I stop early there has to be a damn good reason for it. 6 months is my current goal. Almost to 4 and a half, so I've done pretty well!
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