Murphy's Law

Who the heck was Murphy?

And why'd he have to go and make a law?  If it wasn't for him (or her) and that stupid law then things might not come in clumps like they do.

It all started in Los Angeles... the City of Angels.
Or of felons, as it turns out.  So on Saturday (February 16) I was about to leave my Bollywood/Bhangra session at the 2013 Zumba Conference in L.A. with my friend A2 (my friend A was there also but not in the BB session.)  Some woman had picked up my bag "thinking it was hers" and she had my wallet out.  I just kind of snatched it out of her hands and put it back and rushed out because there were about 300 of us in that room and everyone was stampeding toward the door and I didn't want to get run over.  

That night I was thirsty and wanted a Coke Zero from the vending machine which, of course, only takes card.  So I went to get my card and found it was missing!  Well it didn't take a rocket scientist (whatever a rocket scientist even is!) to figure out what had happened.  I searched all my pockets and the room, just in case, but it didn't turn up.  So I called my dad and told him to cancel the card.  I had about $60 in cash on me, so I knew I'd be okay.  A small snag happened when I went to check out.  I had no money and they wouldn't take a card number over the phone.  Fortunately A2 bailed me out there.  Thank goodness for good friends!

So yesterday the banks were closed, of course, because it was a holiday.  So I had to wait until today to go get a new debit card.  No big deal.  Today was a nice sunny day (a bit cold, but that's okay.)  I decided I was going to walk up to the bank and take advantage of the sunshine, since it's a rare occurrence here in Oregon, especially in February.  I went down to the garage to get my sunglasses out of my car and noticed that the trunk was up a little bit.  I wasn't too surprised.  Corky had taken my car up to Albany for work on Friday.  I went and closed it, but then I had a thought.  Don't the inside lights on the car stay on when the trunk is open?  I reopened the trunk and saw no light.  Hmmm....

I went to the front of the car and got in.  The ceiling lights came on faintly.  Hmmm!!!!  I put the key in the ignition, took a breath, and turned it.  

Gah-woo-wooo-wooooooooo...... click!    Oh. No.

Now, this might be a good time for me to mention to you a couple of things.  First of all, I have some pretty strange fears and phobias.  For some reason, ever since I was a little kid, I've been afraid of cars not starting.  I don't like the sounds they make when they turn over. Even just the idea of cars not starting makes me uneasy.  For years, probably from when I was about 3 until I was about 15, I would plug my ears whenever anyone would start a car I was in.  Just instinct.  I had been lucky up until now.  I had never had MY car not start.  Until today.  This was uncharted territory for me!

This is also probably a good time to mention that my debit card wasn't the only thing that got lost on my L.A. trip.  The other thing I lost was my iPod!  I am a Zumba instructor!  I cannot work without my iPod!  So for today I had 2 things lined up: bank and iPod.  Now, I had to add a third thing: my car!  

I thought to myself, okay.. I can do this.  I just need to figure out what to focus on!  Well, I need to be able to get to work tonight.  So I need my car to work.  Well, hang on, I can't teach without an iPod.  Okay, so I'll get an iPod.  Well, wait, I can't get an iPod without a card to buy it with.  Okay, so go to the bank.  I was planning to walk there anyway, so I set off.  As I walked, I called Corky's work.  He was on his way to the credit union.  I called his cell phone.  No answer.  Okay.. no big deal.  I'll call my mom and see if she can help me in case I'm in a pinch.  No answer there.  Hmm.. getting a little more nervous now.  Called my dad.  No answer.

Suddenly I felt very alone.  I wasn't worried about getting to work.  I knew I could take a bus or call a cab if necessary.  It was just something about being kind of stuck in a situation I wasn't sure how to handle with no lifelines that freaked me out.  But it was still only like 12:30pm and I didn't work until 6:30 so I figured I'd just get started on what I could deal with: the bank!

After waiting eons I finally talked to a lady who got me set up with a temporary debit card. I then deposited my paycheck, noting with relief that I did indeed have a balance high enough to buy an iPod with.  Then I walked across the street to Corky's work.  He was still at the credit union, in a meeting.  Oh yeah... he mentioned that.  I told his coworker S about the circus my life had suddenly turned into.  It was so ridiculous.  Here I was, trying to fix the situation created by my stolen debit card and lost iPod.  I had gotten a debit card, but now I couldn't get anywhere!  I started laughing.  S offered to let me use her car to go get my iPod, but just then my mom called me back and told me she'd be over at 2:00pm.  I thanked S for her offer, and left.  

As I was walking home, Corky called.  I told him about the car and he said he'd be right home to jump-start it.  I told him to go ahead, that I'd meet him there when I arrived.  I came home to find him frustrated - he couldn't locate his jumper cables of course!  I told him to take my motorcycle to work and leave his car for me (I'm not too great on my motorcycle) and we would deal with it when I got home from work.

My mom and I went to the Mac Store.  I bought a 4th generation iPod touch (in white) for $200.  Ouch.  But it's new and shiny and pretty and my old one is gone so.... what choice did I have?  I taught in 4 hours!  What could I do?  I asked the guy, "so, if I take this home and plug it into my computer, my music from iTunes will transfer, right?"  He told me it would.

So imagine, if you can, my horror when I find that I can't do it because my version of iTunes is too old!  Well, the reason it's too old is because that computer is from the stone age and it takes like 50 light years to update anything!  Also, I had heard from other Zumba instructors that the new version of iTunes was really confusing and irritating.  So I searched frantically for the Update button and couldn't find it.  

On the verge of panicking, I called the Mac Store.  I told the guy the situation and he was like, "well... uh.... I can't really help you because uh... I'm not too good with the whole technology-slash-computer thing but here's the 800 number for you..."  ...........Pardon?  You work at the MAC STORE.  You sell MAC PRODUCTS such as computers and technology.  I said, "you need a new job," and hung up.  Poor sonofabitch.  He had the misfortune of picking up the call from AngryStressedKate.  

I called the 800 number.  While I was on hold for what seemed like eternity, I found the Update thing on iTunes and clicked it.  I had a mini-meltdown when the computer tried to tell me that I wasn't connected to the internet when in fact I had like 3 active browser windows going, but whatever.  I tried twice more and finally it remembered that it had been bugging me to update iTunes roughly since the dawn of time.  The update began.  When it was about 85% complete, a real live human came on the phone.  Her solution?  "Click Update.  That's it."  Well, okay!

After much finagling I finally got my music onto my new iPod.  That new iTunes confuses the hell out of me, as I feared it would.

I went to work.  My class decided today was a good day to have absolutely no energy whatsoever.  I felt like I was performing.  I do a song called "Hella Decalé."  It has this loud "HEY!" part in it.  So there I am, running back and forth, shooting my fist in the air and yelling "HEY!" on every 4 and 8 count.... all by myself.  Everyone else is moving in a vaguely lateral fashion, raising arms that resemble cooked spaghetti noodles and rolling their eyes as if to say can you believe I pay for this shit?  Honestly.... these are the times I hate my job.  When I give them everything and get nothing back.  Eventually I gave up on getting them to yell "HEY!"  

I was PISSED.  That doesn't happen to me often in a class.  Sometimes I get a little cranky or just feel down or like I'm fat or whatever.  But this time... maybe it was because of the day I had.  Maybe I'm still a little tired from the conference.  I don't know.  But I was mad.  After the song I walked over and paused my (shiny new) iPod, turned off the fan so my students could hear me and delivered the following monologue:

"I understand that it is embarrassing to yell 'hey!' sometimes.  I didn't like it either when I was a student.  But let me tell you why I ask you to do that.  (I pointed to my upper abdomen)  See this?  There are muscles under here.  It's called your diaphragm.  Know what it does?  Helps you breathe.  Know what else it can do?  Listen.  HEY! (I yelled loudly and sharply.)   That was loud, right?  Know why that was?  Because I strengthen those muscles.  We are all women in here.  Heaven forbid you should ever need  to yell to be heard... (a pause to let them figure out what that probably meant).... you can be.  And since you all didn't want to yell 'hey' with me... you get an extra workout song!  You with me?"  

So I ended on a lighter note.  I wanted them to understand that I'm not there to make them feel or look like fools.  I'm not trying to embarrass them.  I'm not trying to make them look funny and I'm sure as hell not there to laugh at them!  The things I ask them to do have purpose behind them.  This seemed to take root with my students and the class ended on a better note than it began on.  People smiled at me and thanked me as I left.  Maybe I'll lose a few students because of my straightforwardness but... que cerá, cerá; what will be will be.

I got home.  Corky jump-started my car (only shocking himself once in the process.)  We drove to Marine Drive and saw airplanes land while my battery recharged.  We went to Shari's for dinner and I ate part of an over-easy egg.  Corky filmed that and it's on my YouTube channel (katenotkatie87.)  Now we're home, just chilling out before going to bed.

Days like this are trying.  But when you come out of it at the end and everything is okay, it's  a really good feeling.  I have a debit card.  I have a working (shiny new pretty) iPod with some new music on it too.  I'm texting with my friend A and we are going snowboarding with her brother and Corky on Sunday.  I had a bit of trouble with guilt over food today but I survived that too.

I'm alive and I'm going to be fine.


Links:
Hella Decalé: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plSpDGmauy4
The egg dare: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUk9SvtylIE