Why??

What did I do to deserve this??

I don't pray.  Ever.  Not even sure I believe in God.  But I just capitalized that, didn't I?  So let's say for the sake of argument that for right now, for these few minutes, I believe in God.  Okay?  So here's what I have to say to Him/Her.

Dear God,

I don't know for sure if you exist, but if you don't then these words are just flying into space.  No harm, no foul, right?  
God, I didn't ask to have an eating disorder.  But that's okay.  I don't mind it too much most of the time.  If my having an eating disorder keeps someone else from having one, then it's fine with me.  I'll take it.  I don't mind, God, really I don't.  But could you just take that fat off me then?  Please God?  I won't complain about not eating pizza.  I won't complain about missing french fries.  I'll miss them for sure,  but I promise I won't complain.
I know I swear a lot.  I'm sorry about that.  I know it's rude and vulgar and not how I'm supposed to behave.  I've been trying to work on that because I'm around kids a lot and who knows what they'll pick up!  But if I swear less, God, will you please just make the fat go away?  I promise I'll do better.
Isn't being a good person what we're all on this planet for?  Does religion really matter?  I don't know what kind of God you are, but "God" is just a word, right?  I could call you "Reginald" and it would still be YOU I'm talking to.  I try to do the right thing whenever I can.  I help people.  I donate to charity.  I pay my taxes and I don't complain much about it.  I give bums money and holiday cards.  I try to treat everyone with respect.  I don't steal.  I don't cheat.  I do what I say I'll do, when I say I'll do it.  God, I'm trying so hard to be a good person.  Can't you please just help me here?  Just five pounds, God.  Maybe seven.  That's all.  
I'll take this eating disorder.  I won't complain, I promise I won't.  I don't mind so much, not really.  But God, don't you understand that having an eating disorder AND having fat on me is impossible to deal with?  There's the "food" part, then there's the "body" part.  I don't mind the "food" part.  I can live without pizza and cookies and candy and all that stuff.  But I can't live with the fat.  Please, I'll do anything you say if you take it off.
I'm not sure how to finish this... I could just let it trail off that way.  But if you can't take away the fat, I understand.  I'll work on it too.  But God, if you can't take it away from me, can you do something else for me?
This monster has gotten my friend.  She works with me.  You know who I mean.  She's so little, God.  Inside and out.  I just want to hug her.  I want to pick her up and shield her from everything bad in the world.  I hate that this got her too.  She doesn't deserve it.  I'll live with it all if you can take it away from her.  I promise I'll never complain about it again if you just take it from her and give it to me.  I already hurt, God.  A little more won't make a difference.  She's a good person.  Better than me.  She's so smart and so good at so many things.  This could kill her.  Please don't let it.  I'll take it all if you just give it to me.  She's my best friend, God, and I don't want her to hurt anymore.

Love,
Kate.