Recurring Dreams

I have no idea what's up with this, but I have 2 recurring themes  of dreams.  Not the same dream itself, over and over.   But the same theme.  

One is that I'm my age now but going back into some really low grade in school.  Sometimes it's 5th grade, sometimes its higher up like high school, but I'm always my age now - 25 - and going back into that grade.  And I'm always nervous about it.

The second is airplane crashes.  Sometimes I'm in the plane, sometimes I'm not.  Sometimes someone I love is in the plane.  I remember one very vivid one where my sister was in the plane with me and I lived and she didn't.  The heartbreaking pain I felt was so real at the time that I felt it for hours after waking up.  It was as if she had actually died!  In another dream, I was at a hotel by the pool with my dad.  I looked up and saw a huge jet with the United logo on the tail flying crazily in for a landing at the nearby airport.  In the dream, I said to my dad, "oh, it looks like he's experiencing some rough crosswinds!"  Then the plane stopped still in the sky and spun downward like one of those things off an Oak (?) tree.  You know, the ones that look like little propellers?  Like that.  It hit the ground and broke into 3 pieces, the cockpit snapping off like a pencil tip.

I read one website that says that represents my lofty goals and dreams falling flat.  I'm not so sure!  I do have lofty goals and dreams, for sure.  But I don't really feel like they're falling flat.  I have a job that I love, a fiancé that loves me, a wedding coming up, financial stability (at least for now).... what else could I really ask for?  I have dreams, sure.  I want to present at a Zumba Conference someday.  I want to be well-known like Gina Grant.  I want to have children (human ones, not feathered, furry or scaly), I want to get my B.A.  But... life's not really that bad.  I have an eating disorder, but.. I function.

I find it helpful to look on the bright side I guess.  I've been through a lot of crap.  I'm better for it.  I could be bitter or better.  I try to be better.  I don't always succeed.  But I know that I'm stronger because of what I've been through.  I can deal with a lot.  I've grown, and therefore changed.  They're not mutually exclusive!  People forget that sometimes.  But deep inside I haven't changed.  There's still that fire burning in there.  I'm a Leo, what do you expect? Lol.