Why I Hate Bikram Yoga

***Note: Before you worry, NO I did not do Bikram Yoga while pregnant!  This was about a year ago. :)

There are some things in the world that are really good for you and are just no fun.  There are some things that people claim are really good for you, that are also just no fun.  The former are the things you need to do, like taking disgusting vitamins (ahem prenatals!), getting physicals, going to the dentist, filing taxes, etc.  The latter, well... you can avoid them or not, depending on whether you subscribe to the idea that they are good for you.

Bikram Yoga (also known as Hot Yoga) is one such example for me.  I understand that it's a good idea to cleanse your body of toxins.  I understand that it's good to increase flexibility.  I understand that these positions do good things for your body from increasing blood flow to straightening the spine.  

But... damn... I hate Bikram Yoga!

I probably blogged about it last Spring, in March or April I think.  I can't remember.  It was funny, a few months back I was talking to my bestie Alena about it.  She did Bikram Yoga too, late last Spring, at the same place I went to.  I can't remember our conversation verbatim, but it went something like this.

Me: I'm not doing hot yoga anymore..
Alena: Me neither.
Me: It was nice but... too hot.
Alena: Yeah.  And expensive.
Me: Yeah.  Actually... you know what? 
Alena: What?
Me: I really hated it!  It wasn't nice at all!
Alena: ME TOO!!!!  I would count the poses like, okay, only 15 more.. 10 more..
Me: Yeah, by the time I got to rabbit pose I knew I'd make it!
Alena:  Never again.
Me: Never ever.

So there you have it!  Now.. I know that some people legit enjoy hot yoga.  And that is great!  I'm sure those people have way fewer toxins in their body than I do!  But you know what?  Feeling incredibly dizzy for 90 straight minutes, followed by days of crazy postural hypotension (aka headrush) was not worth it!  I felt worse after hot yoga rather than better.  

The ONLY exception to that was that I felt accomplished.  But that didn't last long.  The first class was okay.  I made it through the whole 90 minutes, I didn't have to sit down or lay down.  I did every pose, although not always gracefully.  I can remember the teacher saying, "The first class is the hardest to get through, the second class is the hardest to come back to.  But after that it gets easier."  In my experience, that was exactly backwards!

The second class I was dizzy and had to lie down a few times.  The more I went back, the less time I spent standing up doing poses.  By the 3rd and 4th class I spent more time flat on my back on the mat than I did upright!  It was awful!!  The room would spin, the floor would rock, and I would tip over if I didn't lie down RIGHT THEN.  

And the poses... oh man.  Don't even get me started!  I can remember the instructors saying things like, "Twist your arms and legs together like wet squishy ropes."  The wet and squishy part came because by that time we were absolutely drenched from head to toe in sweat.  I don't mean a light glisten.  I mean, just-stepped-out-of-the-shower, wet stringy hair, clothes 5 shades darker than you started, kind of sweaty!  It was really quite something.  

Camel pose, which came somewhere in the 2nd of half of class, was my undoing.  I had (have!) a love-hate relationship with camel pose.  It's where you're on your knees, you arch your back, grab your ankles and press your pelvis and chest forward like an archer's bow.  It opens up all the chakras along the front of your body and your energy goes zipping up and down like electricity.  "Push more, more, more, hold it, hold it!" The instructor would say.  "And release."  We'd all snap upright like a rubber band, flip onto our backs and wait.  My body had a crazy violent reaction to camel pose each and every time.  I would be stoic throughout the active pose, but as soon as we'd release, I'd start bawling and I would be incredibly nauseous.  I thought I was crazy!  But the teacher told me that happens sometimes.  Weird, eh?  

Do not misunderstand me - I enjoy yoga!  I like flow yoga, relaxation yoga, power yoga.  I suck at meditation but I enjoy it all the same.  I plan on doing yoga throughout my pregnancy, and I'm really looking forward to it.  But Bikram Yoga?  No thank you.  Never again.