Art & Breakfast

Good Morning.

As Marya Hornbacher said in her book Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, Anorexics have strange shopping lists.  As I put it to my soon-to-be-husband one day, "hey, that's one good thing about marrying an anorexic - the food bills will be low!"  Silver linings, people. 

Here is a picture of my breakfast this morning.

Yes, it is coffee.  To be exact, it is coffee with 2 packets of Truvia, and 1/4 cup of skim milk.  It totals 28 calories.  I've counted.

I was in day treatment until very recently.  I left because it was making me worse.  (If you want to know more on the whole story behind that, check out my YouTube channel: katenotkatie87.  This blog is going to concentrate more on the 'here on out' stuff, only popping back into the past for a little while when necessary.) 

My "outpatient team", such as it is, wants me to eat on a meal plan, not exercise at all, and not engage in eating disorder behaviors......
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................. yeah, right.

Also, my therapist told me to "be artistic and creative.  Let it out!" 

I said, "what, you mean, like, drawing?"

That was exactly what she meant.  I do like to doodle and occasionally I like to make a drawing but it's not exactly my idea of a good time.  But, like the good patient I am, I went and got a sketch pad for $2.74 and dug out my old colored pencils (that sounds so racist.  What should I say instead?  ColorING pencils??) and drew a picture.

The crow is me.  It's trapped between a brick wall and a fence with spikes.  In there with the crow is a tree growing all kinds of food, some scary, some not.  (The cupcake is scary.)  There's also a clock hanging from the tree... not sure why.  Guess I feel like I'm under a time crunch!  Behind the fence is the symbol for Zumba Fitness.  I am a Zumba Fitness instructor.  And I am not allowed to teach.  I swear, I am going to die.