Quandary

Dilemma.
BE ADVISED!  Possible trigger warnings in this post.  Numbers mentioned.

Thanks again to dictionary.com...

quan-da-ry
noun
A state of perplexity or uncertainty, especially as to what to do; dilemma.

You could say I've got a veritable quandary on my hands.  I really really really want to know how much I weigh.  But I'm indescribably terrified to know, at the same time.  At treatment they told me I had weight restored somewhat.  Not a whole lot, and I was still below my projected line, but some. 

I've spent the better part of the last 30 minutes staring at a BMI calculator.  At the height of 5 feet 4 inches, the lowest I can weigh and still be in the "normal" category is, according to Jenny Craig, 108 lbs.  That would put my BMI at an even 18.5 which is the lowest end of "healthy."  I would personally like to have a BMI of 18 even, which would mean I'd have to weigh 105. 

Now, you'd think that since I'm only 5'4" that weighing 105 wouldn't be too difficult, right?  Wrong!  The thing you've got to remember is that I'm a Zumba Fitness instructor.  My body has muscle on it, and that weighs more than fat.

Should I weigh myself?  Should I just put on my big girl panties and see what that scale says?  Maybe, maybe not.  We'll just have to see what happens tomorrow morning... since that's when I weigh myself is first thing after I get up and pee.  I can take some MiraLax tonight, hopefully get everything out of my system.  Besides, whatever number I see could have been higher a week ago...................