Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Globophobia

Am I on reality TV?

Seriously... is there a camera on me and I don't know it??

Do you ever get it where phases of stuff happens to you?  My sister's friend the other day told me that she's been hearing the name "Lee Harvey Oswald" several times per day.  I went through a thing a few months ago where I was stepping on strawberries everywhere I went!  I stepped on a strawberry on campus, I stepped on one walking into the gym, I saw a smushed one on the pavement when I was stuck in traffic on highway 217, I stepped on one in a parking lot - all within two weeks!  It was so weird.

Well, strawberries don't post much of a problem for me.  But the lastest "phase" I've been encountering is a little more problematic!  

Balloons!

Oh no... please no.  Not balloons.  Anything but balloons!!!  I HATE balloons!  Really, I do.  I am a globophobe, meaning I'm phobic of balloons.  More like I'm phobic of them popping.  I hate those f*ckers!  I should take this moment to specify: I'm phobic of latex balloons.  The mylar kind I'm fine with.  The latex ones?  I can't deal with them.  You know how there are those signs with balloons tied to the top, like advertising new homes or such?  When I walk by those signs I always speed up to get past.  I could never work at Red Robin because they always have to blow up helium balloons to give to children.  No way.  

It all started about two weeks ago.  I was driving somewhere and a blue latex balloon came bouncing across the street and vanished under my car.  I freaked!  I didn't want to drive forward because I was afraid I'd pop it!  I know that sounds ridiculous - I'm in a car, right?  Well, phobias don't abide by the laws of rationality (as we well know!)  I couldn't see the balloon anywhere, so I crept forward slowly until I saw it appear in my side mirror, and then I drove away.

Four days later it happened again, only this time the balloon was yellow and I was trying to make a right turn.  Same thing happened.  Freak out, look for balloon, unable to see balloon, creep forward, get honked at by car behind me, locate balloon safely out of the way, drive off.

Well, today it reached a new height.  I was walking to my car after class.  I was waiting at the crosswalk to get over Market Street... and it happened.  A balloon, pink this time, materialized across Market Street!  I don't know where it came from.  I didn't see it coming out of anyplace, it seemed as though it just suddenly came into being there.  And it blew...
...across Market Street...
...over the curb...
...and right into my legs!  It bopped around there for a second, banging back and forth between my shins, then zoomed around behind me and flew out of sight down the street.

OMG!!!!!!

I was horrified!  You know how when you're walking down the street or like in a hallway at the mall or something and someone is coming right toward you and you try to move one way or the other to get out of the way, and they move the same way?  And then you're kind of like dancing with the person?  Well, that's what I was doing with the balloon!  I couldn't get away from it!!! It was awful LOL!!!  I felt this scream bubbling up in my throat but I didn't dare let it out because there were people all around and I'd have looked like an idiot for sure!

If this is the pattern the balloon phase is taking, I shudder to think of what will come next!

I have no idea where my globophobia came from, but I've had it as long as I can remember. It makes things difficult sometimes.  I had a dream not too long ago about a balloon popping.  Well, actually, it didn't pop but it was about to.  In my dream (nightmare) someone was holding a yellow latex balloon and was squeezing it.  I woke up yelling "NO!"   Poor Corky was scared awake by my yelling.

It's so bizarre.  Who is phobic of balloons?  LOL honestly!

Here's some random pictures of colorful bubbles at the Carwash to brighten your day!



Stay tuned for a PUPPY UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jax McGee comes on Friday!!! :D <3

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