Thursday, April 14, 2016

BEDA Day 14 - Struggles

I've been having body image struggles lately.  No surprise there!  Don't I always??

I just feel..... I don't know.... squishy.  My clothes still fit fine so I'm sure it's all in my head.  I feel like I've been slacking off so badly and I need to run more or do more weights or whatever.  Because of my diastasis recti (separation of my abdominal muscles from childbirth) I can't do sit ups or crunches or anything like that.  So I feel as though my abs are all flabby.  

Zumba was hard this morning.  For one thing, I was really tired so my energy was lacking.  My eyes wouldn't even stay open all the way.  For another thing, I hated the sigh of myself in the mirror.  Even wearing all black I thought I looked fat.  For a third thing, the energy of the class was low too, so it was a struggle to keep my smile on and keep things as bouncy as they usually are.

Anyway.  Mara is napping right now.  I'm waiting for a call from the Activities Director from my gym to talk to me about a class opening up (or something like that).  She's assured me via text that I'm not in trouble lol.  Good thing too, because I'd have worried about it.  

I taught Zumba this morning, like I mentioned, ran 3.1 miles when I got home, and I'll teach another Zumba class tonight in addition to picking up the little boy I now babysit 3 evenings per week.  Busy busy.  That's good, it'll keep my mind off tough things.

In other news, it's raining. Joy! Lol.

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