5 days
Well... Corky left the food at home again (ugh!!!!) Whenever we have food in the house that I don't want to deal with being tempted by, he takes it to work. Except here's the thing, 8 times out of 10 he forgets! So I've been avoiding brownies and oatmeal all morning. The oatmeal I want to eat... the brownies I want to chew up and spit out! UGH!!!!! I haven't been so tempted to do chew & spit in forever!!! I can't even remember the last time.. I think it was June! That's a damn good run for me.
Anyway. Today is going to be a busy day. I have a (long awaited and much needed) hair appointment at 12. Then I have to nanny my boss's son from 4pm til about 8pm. He wants me to bring my bird with me because he reeeeaaallllyyy wants a bird. So I'll load Bijou up in her travel cage and bring her along. Should be fun for the kid... not so sure about Bijou. Lol!!!
I've eaten oatmeal with yogurt (instead of milk) and an apple and greek yogurt (I use it like chips and dip) and fat free cocoa. It's only 10:15am but that's probably all I'll eat until at least like 2:30 or 3pm. And then if I don't eat dinner, I should be fine.
I am SO TERRIFIED that the dress isn't going to fit on Sunday. AHHH!!!! It's making me crazy!!! I just want it to be Sunday already so that I don't have to deal with the idea of facing today, tomorrow, Thursday, Friday AND Saturday with the guilt of food, the anxiety about the dress....
Last night I was telling Alena, "The stress of a wedding dress while dealing with an eating disorder is alone enough for me to ensure that my marriage doesn't fall apart. I don't ever want to do this again!!"
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